The Story of Habituation

During the first month of this process I have experienced some of the main highs and lows of beginning a new way of living.  It is a fact, when a new movement begins it usually begins with fire and overtime they have a tendency to fade out.  It takes a great deal of commitment to stick with something and see it through to the very end.  Not only in my situation but also in each one of our daily lives.  We see examples of commitment in our jobs, relationships with friends and loved ones, attending church, in paying our bills every month, or in choosing to continue our education.  Some of these commitments may seem to transform into obligations over a period of time, such as we work in order to survive and pay the bills.  However, we do have the ultimate capacity to choose to what extent we let the more “mundane” tasks in our lives control our attitudes towards them. 

My point it what again?

I suppose I am thinking today about how our everyday lives become “mundane” and though we may not be in the place we are wanting to be in, we have to power within us to either let that control our thoughts and attitudes or not.  Life seems more and more to be about patience.  From a personal perspective, I am not very happy with my current weight.  Just the other day I thought, “You know if I just would’ve started this last year I would be so much further along”.  A statement like that is rather negative and can begin to take away from my current goal.  It will never help any of us to look at our current situation and simply see what we have not done or what we have left undone.  In my opinion, the “undone junk” in our lives could be very overwhelming for most of us.  Not only that but, sometimes the junk in our lives can become the mundane.  The things that used to bother us but now no longer seem to matter because A. we have gotten used to them and accept it as normal, B. we simply have become unaware of its negative presence, or C. it has become the impossible.  Honestly, all three of these possibilities can mingle together depending on our situations and perspectives. 

So why do we do this?  Why do our daily commitments become mere obligations or the junk in our lives become our lives? 

I do not feel any of us would do this purposely.  There is a term used in psychology called habituation, which means how it sounds, over time something that we see or experience on a normal basis can become normal or habit.  It seems our mind is programed to do this automatically, which, I am sure is for our benefit.  Think of going through life experiencing everything like it was for the very first time.  Seems overwhelming. 

So this is my thought for the week.  What commitment in our lives was once filled with fire but now has become fameless ash?  What mundane junk has become seemingly overwhelming?  I am positive we can all think of something.  Once you do I hope you will begin to understand it better and by understanding be able to see it differently or take control over it.  I do not wish to seem like a cheesy “self-help” guru.  Life is difficult and we can experience many things that we feel we never intended or asked for.  Something we do have the ability to control though is our attitudes towards the mundane or our ability to spark a new fire in something that has become dull.  Instead of thinking that this is an easy thing, my message is sort of the opposite.  Commitment in any form takes effort.  When we make the decision to turn the junk in our lives into something better we are making a commitment, which like all commitments will require us to be diligent and patient.  That in its self is not an easy task. 

A few weeks ago I made a request to a good friend of mine (who is more like family) to create something for me that would remind me every day to keep trying.  I gave her a part of a quote I found by Marie Curie that reads, “Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”  It will remind me every day that though I am not where I want to be, I have made a commitment to myself that I am going to better understand my “junk” so that I will be able to fully conquer my fears.

 

Thank you for reading and I wish you all the best  

Art by: Laurel Cooke (Love you Lala)

Blogger in training

I accidentally deleted the comments that had been posted on the past few blogs.  So I do apologize for that error because it was not intentional.  I am still getting used to everything but I now know not to experiment with the delete button.  (It does not work like an email account, got it!) 

I appreciate your patience!

A Sword through Struggle

Week three, was a total flop –sigh-

Though last week did not go as I would have liked it to, it has provided the fuel for this week’s post.  Part of my struggle in losing weight is finding the energy to work out.  Over the summer, my Dr. put me on anxiety medicine to help me with the heart palpitations I was experiencing.  Before that time, I had been unable to work out because any exertion would make my heart race and I would feel very weak and winded.  Now my palpitations are pretty well non-existent, however the medicine (like most prescriptions) has a side effect and for me that side effect is fatigue.  I struggle with fatigue on a daily basis now.  Some days are much easier than others are but sometimes I have weeks where I feel unable to raise above my exhaustion.  This my friends is very frustrating.  When I posse the will but lack the energy necessary to complete the task at hand. 

Now my struggle is just an example.  I am well aware we all have our own set of personal struggle’s that may make us feel trapped in some constant moving wheel that never allows us to stop and regain the strength needed to move forward.  It can create a very helpless feeling inside of us that has the potential to span negative self-talk.  This can trick our minds to focus on external behaviors we feel will fix our situation when in reality it only keeps the wheel turning.  This seems to be a very unfair situation to be in.  It is one we never ask for and seldom can see from the outside until the damage is already done. 

I do not want to generalize because I realize their does exist people in the world that claim they like being overweight, or enjoying over indulging in alcohol or drugs, or maybe even materialism (excessive shopping).  I hope however that most of us understand that these things are mere symptoms to much deeper internal struggle’s.  These symptoms are what keep the wheel spinning; it is a part of what keeps us trapped instead of moving forward.  The external cure for my struggle is food.  When I feel tired constantly, I feel helpless and tell myself if I eat I will wake up and feel better.  This external action has negative consequences including consuming more calories than I actually need, creating the connection that I need food to have energy, and the chemical reaction I feel from eating only last for a few minutes until I’m back to feeling as tired and low as I did before.  So how are we supposed to win in such an unfair fight? 

I am positive most of you have heard, “the first step to fixing a problem is admitting that you have one.”  Though this phrase has overtime lost its importance and may seem cheesy, it is undeniably a true statement.  To begin defeating the cycle we have to be aware of where it is occurring in our own lives.  However, even when we become aware, it does not mean suddenly we will posse the ability to defeat our issue or totally conquer the cycle.  From my perspective, that is the true nature of struggle.  Seeing and understanding our own issues yet we feel unsure of what steps to take in fixing it.  The truth is we are all different and the steps I need to take in bettering my situation are not the same steps you may need to take.  Nevertheless, our struggles share a common thread that we all can follow and with determination and patience we will eventually see success.

So let us break it down a bit more.

1.       The first step to fixing a problem is admitting that you have one.  (check)

2.       Once you realize the problem, break it down into smaller parts.  For example, understand your triggers and the emotions behind them.

3.       Once you understand your triggers take steps in countering your thinking or take steps to help yourself in times of weakness.  Personally, I do not keep sweets around the house because I know in moments of fatigue they will be the first thing I reach for. 

4.       Remember to give yourself compassion. 

Number four in my opinion is the most important.  None of us are perfect and with that acceptance, we understand that during this process we will have times where we will experience defeat.  This past week for myself was a week of defeat but to counter it I have begun to take a multivitamin for energy as well as a B vitamin complex.  I am also not going to allow myself to spend my whole day in my apartment, even if that means simply sitting at the college I attend or going to the park.  I am not going to give up simply because I had a difficult week.  In fact, I truly believe that during our struggles is when we learn the most about ourselves and can grow the most if we allow ourselves to. 

“I've come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.”

 Tony Robbins

Thank you for reading!

Remembering Compassion

Week number two, I am glad to say was a lot easier than last week.  I decided to give Julian Michaels a week off and pulled out my DDR mat and for those of you foreign to DDR it means Dance Dance Revolution.  The game is played with a square mat that has arrows going up and down as well as left to right, the point of the game is to hit the arrows on the mat (with your feet) that match up to the arrows on the screen.  It isn’t as easy as it sounds but it’s good cardio and the game can track the calories you burn as you play/workout. 

A personal goal for myself over the past few weeks has been learning to be more compassionate towards others.  We are very quick to take advantage of our perceptions and biases when we talk to and try to understand the people who surround us. We have a tendency to blame a person’s disposition for their behavior or condition rather than consider what that person has experienced or the person’s situation in life.    

“Jean-Paul Sartre (1946)- We humans are first of all being in a situation.  We cannot be distinguished from our situations, for they form us and decide our possibilities” 

Our situations in life govern a great deal of how we interact in our day-to-day lives as well as how we present ourselves to the people around us.  This is however a complicated way of thinking, since our preconceived judgments are made within a few seconds of  meeting or gawking form a far at someone.  Because of this though, I feel practicing compassion for others is a good place to begin in changing our initial conceptions of others but also our conceptions of ourselves. 

The concept of using compassion may seem like a “DUH” idea to some individuals however how many of us are guilty of viewing others harshly.  It is an easy thing to do.  Yet what is also very destructive is when we choose not to allow any compassion for ourselves.  Those of us suffering from a weight related issue usually understand the feeling of looking in the mirror and simply seeing ourselves as fat and lazy.  This sort of negative thinking perpetuates itself and can create a never-ending cycle of self-criticism.  Where is the compassion in that?  If we only understand our current disposition we are cheating ourselves of the explanation of why.  Some of us have sadly been abused, neglected, or bullied and these negative events have contributed to who we are today. 

We cannot leave out biology.  Because we are all unique, we all have different ways of dealing with stress and negative events.  Some of us eat, while others of us starve.  Some individuals work a lot and others of us do nothing at all.  Some of us develop depression or anxiety not to mention all this pain can make us feel very isolated.  We are all inspired when we read or hear a story of someone who conquered his or her impossible odds.  Stories that narrate a rags to riches tale seem to ignite something in our hearts that make us urn for being more than what we feel we have become.  This is when we need to remember to give ourselves and the people around us compassion.  It does not mean we have to agree with how they choose to handle their lives.  What it means however, is that we need to remember that we are not struggling with something for no reason and the people we come in contact with are in the same boat we are.  So this week and for the rest of your lives I hope you are able to give yourself and others the compassion they deserve as fellow brothers and sisters who are striving in this life just as you are.