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Monday, October 1, 2012

A Sword through Struggle


Week three, was a total flop –sigh-

Though last week did not go as I would have liked it to, it has provided the fuel for this week’s post.  Part of my struggle in losing weight is finding the energy to work out.  Over the summer, my Dr. put me on anxiety medicine to help me with the heart palpitations I was experiencing.  Before that time, I had been unable to work out because any exertion would make my heart race and I would feel very weak and winded.  Now my palpitations are pretty well non-existent, however the medicine (like most prescriptions) has a side effect and for me that side effect is fatigue.  I struggle with fatigue on a daily basis now.  Some days are much easier than others are but sometimes I have weeks where I feel unable to raise above my exhaustion.  This my friends is very frustrating.  When I posse the will but lack the energy necessary to complete the task at hand. 

Now my struggle is just an example.  I am well aware we all have our own set of personal struggle’s that may make us feel trapped in some constant moving wheel that never allows us to stop and regain the strength needed to move forward.  It can create a very helpless feeling inside of us that has the potential to span negative self-talk.  This can trick our minds to focus on external behaviors we feel will fix our situation when in reality it only keeps the wheel turning.  This seems to be a very unfair situation to be in.  It is one we never ask for and seldom can see from the outside until the damage is already done. 

I do not want to generalize because I realize their does exist people in the world that claim they like being overweight, or enjoying over indulging in alcohol or drugs, or maybe even materialism (excessive shopping).  I hope however that most of us understand that these things are mere symptoms to much deeper internal struggle’s.  These symptoms are what keep the wheel spinning; it is a part of what keeps us trapped instead of moving forward.  The external cure for my struggle is food.  When I feel tired constantly, I feel helpless and tell myself if I eat I will wake up and feel better.  This external action has negative consequences including consuming more calories than I actually need, creating the connection that I need food to have energy, and the chemical reaction I feel from eating only last for a few minutes until I’m back to feeling as tired and low as I did before.  So how are we supposed to win in such an unfair fight? 

I am positive most of you have heard, “the first step to fixing a problem is admitting that you have one.”  Though this phrase has overtime lost its importance and may seem cheesy, it is undeniably a true statement.  To begin defeating the cycle we have to be aware of where it is occurring in our own lives.  However, even when we become aware, it does not mean suddenly we will posse the ability to defeat our issue or totally conquer the cycle.  From my perspective, that is the true nature of struggle.  Seeing and understanding our own issues yet we feel unsure of what steps to take in fixing it.  The truth is we are all different and the steps I need to take in bettering my situation are not the same steps you may need to take.  Nevertheless, our struggles share a common thread that we all can follow and with determination and patience we will eventually see success.

So let us break it down a bit more.

1.       The first step to fixing a problem is admitting that you have one.  (check)

2.       Once you realize the problem, break it down into smaller parts.  For example, understand your triggers and the emotions behind them.

3.       Once you understand your triggers take steps in countering your thinking or take steps to help yourself in times of weakness.  Personally, I do not keep sweets around the house because I know in moments of fatigue they will be the first thing I reach for. 

4.       Remember to give yourself compassion. 

Number four in my opinion is the most important.  None of us are perfect and with that acceptance, we understand that during this process we will have times where we will experience defeat.  This past week for myself was a week of defeat but to counter it I have begun to take a multivitamin for energy as well as a B vitamin complex.  I am also not going to allow myself to spend my whole day in my apartment, even if that means simply sitting at the college I attend or going to the park.  I am not going to give up simply because I had a difficult week.  In fact, I truly believe that during our struggles is when we learn the most about ourselves and can grow the most if we allow ourselves to. 

“I've come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.”

 Tony Robbins

Thank you for reading!

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