The Struggle is
Part of Our Story
We had a
saying within the Marriage and Family Therapy program and you could hear
someone saying it almost daily.
“The Struggle is Real”
The
struggle of grad school mixed with the emotional charge of growing our therapy
legs was unarguable and real. Naturally
it appeared differently, we found relief differently, but we all knew the
struggle.
The
struggle of the program came in waves.
It began by wrestling with words like isomorphic and learning systems
theory, transitioning into application of words and theory, to sitting in a
room with an actual human being. There
is a short time of illusion. You don’t
feel as uncomfortable, therapy is moving in a Willy Wonka elevator type way,
and you know coffee is always an option.
Then the time comes to think about life outside of grad school, and then
the worst thing that could happen, happens.
You actually have to say Good Bye.
The
Struggle has always been apart of our story.
I consider
myself a realist. My ego needs to
believe it has some concept of what is to come.
How that plays out in my life now, looks very differently than it did 6,
4, or even 2 years ago. Reality is
actually quite hard to predict but something that will always exist is
struggle.
John
17:14-15
“I have given them your word, and
the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of
the world. I do not ask that you take
them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one.”
There are many verses in the Bible
that can provide comfort during times of struggle but these two, from my
perspective, are our reality. I have
seen other Christians utilize these verses as a soapbox about Christian
persecution (think Kim Davis and then stop thinking about her) but I like to
widen them out a bit. Religious or not, truth is truth.
As we grow in our faith, knowledge,
compassion, patience, kindness, etc. we experience those who will challenge us
and make us feel different or alone.
“Not of this world or hated”
As difficult as feeling alone or
hated can be we aren’t being rescued, “I do not ask you to take them out of the
world”. Instead we are, in a since,
being warned.
The struggle is real and will
continue to be for our entire lives. So
then the question becomes what to do with what you know? What do we do with our struggles? Like most BIG questions these have limitless
answers.
It’s difficult to talk about what to
do with struggle without being heard as shaming. I realize the depths of depression, the
reality of chemical imbalances, and that struggle is way more complicated than
one conscious choice to do something different.
Emotions are not logical. That’s
why I try not to offer answers. There is
a billion dollar self-help industry out there for that. However, if you are like me, the best way to
grow is from experience.
I remember the first time I realized,
I mean really knew, life wasn’t cake. So
I want to be sensitive to those that are in the beginning or middle of this. It
is one thing to be told and another thing entirely to be experienced. Right now I believe I am experiencing a new
middle, a reminder of how struggle can randomly appear in your life, even when
you’ve done everything “right”.
I am not one to say, God will only
give you what you can handle, or talk about Karma, or everything working out
for the greater good. I will say that
life is terrible and funny in a dry dark comedy sort of way. And that struggle
isn’t for nothing. And the struggle is
real.
I feel a trend occurring in how I
end my blogs but this will never be said too much.
Be kind to yourselves as to others
as you walk on this earth.
Blessings.
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