Pages

Monday, September 28, 2015

I like my Struggle like I like my Wine!

The Struggle is Part of Our Story

We had a saying within the Marriage and Family Therapy program and you could hear someone saying it almost daily. 

“The Struggle is Real”

The struggle of grad school mixed with the emotional charge of growing our therapy legs was unarguable and real.  Naturally it appeared differently, we found relief differently, but we all knew the struggle. 

The struggle of the program came in waves.  It began by wrestling with words like isomorphic and learning systems theory, transitioning into application of words and theory, to sitting in a room with an actual human being.  There is a short time of illusion.  You don’t feel as uncomfortable, therapy is moving in a Willy Wonka elevator type way, and you know coffee is always an option.  Then the time comes to think about life outside of grad school, and then the worst thing that could happen, happens.  You actually have to say Good Bye.

The Struggle has always been apart of our story. 

I consider myself a realist.  My ego needs to believe it has some concept of what is to come.  How that plays out in my life now, looks very differently than it did 6, 4, or even 2 years ago.  Reality is actually quite hard to predict but something that will always exist is struggle. 

John 17:14-15
“I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.  I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one.”

There are many verses in the Bible that can provide comfort during times of struggle but these two, from my perspective, are our reality.  I have seen other Christians utilize these verses as a soapbox about Christian persecution (think Kim Davis and then stop thinking about her) but I like to widen them out a bit. Religious or not, truth is truth.

As we grow in our faith, knowledge, compassion, patience, kindness, etc. we experience those who will challenge us and make us feel different or alone.  “Not of this world or hated”
As difficult as feeling alone or hated can be we aren’t being rescued, “I do not ask you to take them out of the world”.  Instead we are, in a since, being warned. 

The struggle is real and will continue to be for our entire lives.  So then the question becomes what to do with what you know?  What do we do with our struggles?  Like most BIG questions these have limitless answers.

It’s difficult to talk about what to do with struggle without being heard as shaming.  I realize the depths of depression, the reality of chemical imbalances, and that struggle is way more complicated than one conscious choice to do something different.  Emotions are not logical.  That’s why I try not to offer answers.  There is a billion dollar self-help industry out there for that.  However, if you are like me, the best way to grow is from experience.

I remember the first time I realized, I mean really knew, life wasn’t cake.  So I want to be sensitive to those that are in the beginning or middle of this. It is one thing to be told and another thing entirely to be experienced.  Right now I believe I am experiencing a new middle, a reminder of how struggle can randomly appear in your life, even when you’ve done everything “right”.

I am not one to say, God will only give you what you can handle, or talk about Karma, or everything working out for the greater good.  I will say that life is terrible and funny in a dry dark comedy sort of way. And that struggle isn’t for nothing.  And the struggle is real. 

I feel a trend occurring in how I end my blogs but this will never be said too much.

Be kind to yourselves as to others as you walk on this earth. 


Blessings.

No comments:

Post a Comment